My Little One,
Part of me can't wait to meet you and hold you in my arms, but part of me wishes you could just stay where you are, safe inside me. I know your father will be a great parent, but I'm not so sure about me. As long as you are inside me, I can feed you and nurture you and even rock you back and forth as I move around. It all comes to by body completely by instinct and completely naturally. But once you arrive...I am not sure how well I will know how to care for you.
Every time I bore/irritate/anger my high school students, I wonder how well you and I will get along. Will the past 6 years of high school teaching help me know how to parent you, or just make me irrational, unpleasant, and boring? Even if I didn't already want to quit my job to stay home with you, I would want to quit because of how often I feel like a failure when it comes to relating to my students, keeping them focused, and helping them learn.
I'd like to think that if I just do everything right, you will grow into a capable, intelligent, well-rounded, independent, imaginative person. But doesn't every parent think that? Don't we all try to do our best for our children...and yet, every day I see students struggling to learn, to get along with authority, to function as people.
You are coming very soon, little one. I have spent 28 years trying to get ready for you, and I am afraid that when the time comes, I won't be ready for you.
I guess parents do this somehow, don't they, little one?
I love you- Mom
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Letters to the Baby- #5
Dear Little One,
This morning I lay in bed and felt you move around. Your kicks were so strong that I could see my stomach move up and down when you moved.
Tomorrow marks the 25th week of my journey with you and I am nearing the end of my second trimester. We only have a little over 3 months to go before I get to meet you! Though I'm not happy with the mild soreness, heartburn, indigestion or decreased mobility of pregnancy, it is nice to always have a little person with me.
You have 3 cousins who are anxiously waiting to meet you. The ones who are old enough to understand that I am going to have you like to hug and pat my belly and greet you. I hope you will become good friends with all your cousins.
I also hope you look a lot like your dad. He has dark hair, tan skin, and dark eyes. Maybe you will be like a miniature version of him. Neither of us is very tall, so you will probably be pretty short, too, but there are advantages to that.
There is still so much I don't know about life and getting along with others, little one. How am I ever supposed to teach you? I wish you had a mother who would knows what to do in every situation ...but instead you have me.
The only thing of any value that I really have to give you is the word of God. I will do my best to teach you about God and his Word and His Son Jesus and how you can be saved from your sins and have abundant life, like me.
Well that's enough for now, little one, I need to take another nap.
Love- Mom
This morning I lay in bed and felt you move around. Your kicks were so strong that I could see my stomach move up and down when you moved.
Tomorrow marks the 25th week of my journey with you and I am nearing the end of my second trimester. We only have a little over 3 months to go before I get to meet you! Though I'm not happy with the mild soreness, heartburn, indigestion or decreased mobility of pregnancy, it is nice to always have a little person with me.
You have 3 cousins who are anxiously waiting to meet you. The ones who are old enough to understand that I am going to have you like to hug and pat my belly and greet you. I hope you will become good friends with all your cousins.
I also hope you look a lot like your dad. He has dark hair, tan skin, and dark eyes. Maybe you will be like a miniature version of him. Neither of us is very tall, so you will probably be pretty short, too, but there are advantages to that.
There is still so much I don't know about life and getting along with others, little one. How am I ever supposed to teach you? I wish you had a mother who would knows what to do in every situation ...but instead you have me.
The only thing of any value that I really have to give you is the word of God. I will do my best to teach you about God and his Word and His Son Jesus and how you can be saved from your sins and have abundant life, like me.
Well that's enough for now, little one, I need to take another nap.
Love- Mom
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