Dear Baby,
Well, we somehow made it to June 19th, your due date. I am, of course, not in labor and probably won't go into labor anytime today, but it is amazing to me that we made it all the way to 40 weeks. You don't know how worried I have been that I would lose you. I knew I probably wouldn't, but every story I heard about other women losing their babies would only compound my fears that one day I would wake up with you dead inside me. But you're alive and kicking and everything is going exactly the way it should.
Any day now, we will get to meet you and get to know your special little personality. I know you are getting pretty cramped in my uterus because your movements are so big these days. I can literally watch you move from side to side in my belly. Soon, you will have all the space you need to grow.
I love you and I can't wait to meet you face to face.
Love, Mom.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Letters to the Baby #6
My Little One,
Part of me can't wait to meet you and hold you in my arms, but part of me wishes you could just stay where you are, safe inside me. I know your father will be a great parent, but I'm not so sure about me. As long as you are inside me, I can feed you and nurture you and even rock you back and forth as I move around. It all comes to by body completely by instinct and completely naturally. But once you arrive...I am not sure how well I will know how to care for you.
Every time I bore/irritate/anger my high school students, I wonder how well you and I will get along. Will the past 6 years of high school teaching help me know how to parent you, or just make me irrational, unpleasant, and boring? Even if I didn't already want to quit my job to stay home with you, I would want to quit because of how often I feel like a failure when it comes to relating to my students, keeping them focused, and helping them learn.
I'd like to think that if I just do everything right, you will grow into a capable, intelligent, well-rounded, independent, imaginative person. But doesn't every parent think that? Don't we all try to do our best for our children...and yet, every day I see students struggling to learn, to get along with authority, to function as people.
You are coming very soon, little one. I have spent 28 years trying to get ready for you, and I am afraid that when the time comes, I won't be ready for you.
I guess parents do this somehow, don't they, little one?
I love you- Mom
Part of me can't wait to meet you and hold you in my arms, but part of me wishes you could just stay where you are, safe inside me. I know your father will be a great parent, but I'm not so sure about me. As long as you are inside me, I can feed you and nurture you and even rock you back and forth as I move around. It all comes to by body completely by instinct and completely naturally. But once you arrive...I am not sure how well I will know how to care for you.
Every time I bore/irritate/anger my high school students, I wonder how well you and I will get along. Will the past 6 years of high school teaching help me know how to parent you, or just make me irrational, unpleasant, and boring? Even if I didn't already want to quit my job to stay home with you, I would want to quit because of how often I feel like a failure when it comes to relating to my students, keeping them focused, and helping them learn.
I'd like to think that if I just do everything right, you will grow into a capable, intelligent, well-rounded, independent, imaginative person. But doesn't every parent think that? Don't we all try to do our best for our children...and yet, every day I see students struggling to learn, to get along with authority, to function as people.
You are coming very soon, little one. I have spent 28 years trying to get ready for you, and I am afraid that when the time comes, I won't be ready for you.
I guess parents do this somehow, don't they, little one?
I love you- Mom
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Letters to the Baby- #5
Dear Little One,
This morning I lay in bed and felt you move around. Your kicks were so strong that I could see my stomach move up and down when you moved.
Tomorrow marks the 25th week of my journey with you and I am nearing the end of my second trimester. We only have a little over 3 months to go before I get to meet you! Though I'm not happy with the mild soreness, heartburn, indigestion or decreased mobility of pregnancy, it is nice to always have a little person with me.
You have 3 cousins who are anxiously waiting to meet you. The ones who are old enough to understand that I am going to have you like to hug and pat my belly and greet you. I hope you will become good friends with all your cousins.
I also hope you look a lot like your dad. He has dark hair, tan skin, and dark eyes. Maybe you will be like a miniature version of him. Neither of us is very tall, so you will probably be pretty short, too, but there are advantages to that.
There is still so much I don't know about life and getting along with others, little one. How am I ever supposed to teach you? I wish you had a mother who would knows what to do in every situation ...but instead you have me.
The only thing of any value that I really have to give you is the word of God. I will do my best to teach you about God and his Word and His Son Jesus and how you can be saved from your sins and have abundant life, like me.
Well that's enough for now, little one, I need to take another nap.
Love- Mom
This morning I lay in bed and felt you move around. Your kicks were so strong that I could see my stomach move up and down when you moved.
Tomorrow marks the 25th week of my journey with you and I am nearing the end of my second trimester. We only have a little over 3 months to go before I get to meet you! Though I'm not happy with the mild soreness, heartburn, indigestion or decreased mobility of pregnancy, it is nice to always have a little person with me.
You have 3 cousins who are anxiously waiting to meet you. The ones who are old enough to understand that I am going to have you like to hug and pat my belly and greet you. I hope you will become good friends with all your cousins.
I also hope you look a lot like your dad. He has dark hair, tan skin, and dark eyes. Maybe you will be like a miniature version of him. Neither of us is very tall, so you will probably be pretty short, too, but there are advantages to that.
There is still so much I don't know about life and getting along with others, little one. How am I ever supposed to teach you? I wish you had a mother who would knows what to do in every situation ...but instead you have me.
The only thing of any value that I really have to give you is the word of God. I will do my best to teach you about God and his Word and His Son Jesus and how you can be saved from your sins and have abundant life, like me.
Well that's enough for now, little one, I need to take another nap.
Love- Mom
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
A Valentine's Day Letter to the Baby
Dear Little One,
Hundreds of years ago, a Christian named Valentine performed marriage ceremonies for
Christians even though the government forbade him to. For his pains, he was martyred. He believed in God, marriage and raising Godly children. That's one of the reasons why I like Valentine's Day. It's not just hearts and flowers...it's faith and family.
You are part of all this, little one. Your father and I married for love, but it was more than that...it was also because we believed that as a married couple, we could make each other stronger in the Lord and be of more help to one another than we could single. Your father is one of the biggest miracles in my life. I prayed for a man like him for years and the Lord sent him to me.
Waiting 6 years to have you has been very hard for me. I love being married, but after the first few years, you start to long for a chance to grow your family.
One thing I really want you to know is that your father and I really and truly love each other and are committed to each other just as God intended married couples to be. And you are part of that. We prayed for you to come, and we adore you. So never forget that you were born out of love and out of God's plan for our lives.
Someday I pray that you will find a Godly man or woman who you will start your own family with. And on that day, God will smile down on you. I think St. Valentine will be pleased, too.
I love you my little harbinger of hope,
Mommy.
Hundreds of years ago, a Christian named Valentine performed marriage ceremonies for
Christians even though the government forbade him to. For his pains, he was martyred. He believed in God, marriage and raising Godly children. That's one of the reasons why I like Valentine's Day. It's not just hearts and flowers...it's faith and family.
You are part of all this, little one. Your father and I married for love, but it was more than that...it was also because we believed that as a married couple, we could make each other stronger in the Lord and be of more help to one another than we could single. Your father is one of the biggest miracles in my life. I prayed for a man like him for years and the Lord sent him to me.
Waiting 6 years to have you has been very hard for me. I love being married, but after the first few years, you start to long for a chance to grow your family.
One thing I really want you to know is that your father and I really and truly love each other and are committed to each other just as God intended married couples to be. And you are part of that. We prayed for you to come, and we adore you. So never forget that you were born out of love and out of God's plan for our lives.
Someday I pray that you will find a Godly man or woman who you will start your own family with. And on that day, God will smile down on you. I think St. Valentine will be pleased, too.
I love you my little harbinger of hope,
Mommy.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Here we grow again! New belly pics.
At around 4 months, I saw a pregnant woman who was about 6 months along. She was healthy and beautiful, but her belly looked gigantic to me and I wondered how on earth my stomach would grow that much in a mere 2 months.
But here I am now, in the middle of month 5, and boy am I growing! It's a little weird having this belly in front of me, sort of like I have grown an extra limb. I feel conscious of it all the time. In a crowd, I am protective of it, and at night, even in my sleep, I am always considering where my belly is and if it is safe. Every few weeks, it is as if my balance shifts again and I have to be very conscious of the way I am moving. If you've been pregnant before, you know how uncomfortable it is to put any kind of pressure on your stomach, so anytime I accidentally lean up against a table or when the dog jumps up on me, I definitely feel it.
What's amazing is that baby and I are just going to continue growing and growing for 3 1/2 more months!
But here I am now, in the middle of month 5, and boy am I growing! It's a little weird having this belly in front of me, sort of like I have grown an extra limb. I feel conscious of it all the time. In a crowd, I am protective of it, and at night, even in my sleep, I am always considering where my belly is and if it is safe. Every few weeks, it is as if my balance shifts again and I have to be very conscious of the way I am moving. If you've been pregnant before, you know how uncomfortable it is to put any kind of pressure on your stomach, so anytime I accidentally lean up against a table or when the dog jumps up on me, I definitely feel it.
What's amazing is that baby and I are just going to continue growing and growing for 3 1/2 more months!
Monday, January 30, 2012
Crazy Dream #1
They say you have crazy dreams when you are pregnant. I dreamt last night that I had my baby in a hospital two hours away from home, but he was taken away immediately after birth and I was sent home, but the hospital kept him. I never even had a chance to hold him or look at him. A few days later, they gave me 20 minutes with him. A few days after that, my parents and I were going to drive over and try to see him again, but my mom and dad said they had to go grocery shopping instead. I was not fit to drive for some reason, but I desperately needed to see my baby and in the dream I started throwing a fit- crying and yelling and demanding that they take me to see my baby. I felt very embarrassed over my behavior, but I also felt that I couldn't help myself, that I NEEDED to see him, at all costs. And that's when I woke up...not much closure, but at least the baby is with me, and has not been taken away.
Ladies who have been pregnant: did you have similar dreams during pregnancy?
Ladies who have been pregnant: did you have similar dreams during pregnancy?
Sunday, January 22, 2012
We're halfway there, Baby! Letter #3 to the baby: Week 19
Dear Little One,
I felt you move this week! You are definitely in there, definitely alive and well and moving around! At first, I could only feel you when I was lying or sitting very still, but last night at the grocery store in the juice aisle, your little kick took me completely by surprise. It's hard to know what's you sometimes and what's my stomach digesting or the uterus beating, but I am getting better and better at distinguishing the difference. Your father is jealous that I get to feel you already and he will have to wait a few more weeks. Sometimes I catch him watching us when we are all home together, just sort of staring and marvelling at you growing inside me. Sometimes it makes me self-conscious, but he tells me he is just fascinated by you and me. I am so grateful that you will have a father who will be involved in your life and who will adore you as much as I do.
We have arrived at the beginning of Week 19. The average gestational time for human babies is 38 weeks, so that means we might be halfway there. Of course, it's only an average, and I might find myself still carrying your growing self into weeks 39, 40, 41, or even 42. The midwife says it almost never goes past that point.
So far carrying you has been completely average and completely normal. Most couples trying to concieve manage to succeed in about 3 months, which is exactly was happened for us. When we went to our last check-up in early January, the midwife said my uterus was exactly the size all the charts say it should be. She even sounded a little surprised by that. I have gained exactly 13 pounds, which is right in the range all the books say you should gain by week 19, and my symptoms have pretty much followed the normal, average symptoms of pregnancy. Little baby, this makes me very happy. I wouldn't say that carrying you has been easy, but it has certainly all been very normal, very average, and very much exactly as things are expected to progress.
Part of me can't believe we've made it this far. I have been terrified from the beginning that I would lose you, but somehow you made it through the first trimester, where miscarriage is most common, and now we are halfway into the second. It doesn't mean something couldn't still happen to you...but the odds are definitely in our favor.
Carrying you has definitely made me slow down much more than I imagined I would. I spend much more time just sitting or reading quietly these days than I ever used to.
I only have 3 more months of teaching high school! Then, I will be able to stay home all the time to take care of you. Of course, I still have a play to direct and a yearbook to complete in the meantime, but we will make it through that with God's help. I know that you can hear my voice now and some loud noises, so you must wonder what is going on when your mommy keeps yelling at people every afternoon during play rehearsal.
Well, here's to you, little harbinger of hope. The next 19 weeks are going to be quite an adventure.
I love you,
Your Mommy.
I felt you move this week! You are definitely in there, definitely alive and well and moving around! At first, I could only feel you when I was lying or sitting very still, but last night at the grocery store in the juice aisle, your little kick took me completely by surprise. It's hard to know what's you sometimes and what's my stomach digesting or the uterus beating, but I am getting better and better at distinguishing the difference. Your father is jealous that I get to feel you already and he will have to wait a few more weeks. Sometimes I catch him watching us when we are all home together, just sort of staring and marvelling at you growing inside me. Sometimes it makes me self-conscious, but he tells me he is just fascinated by you and me. I am so grateful that you will have a father who will be involved in your life and who will adore you as much as I do.
We have arrived at the beginning of Week 19. The average gestational time for human babies is 38 weeks, so that means we might be halfway there. Of course, it's only an average, and I might find myself still carrying your growing self into weeks 39, 40, 41, or even 42. The midwife says it almost never goes past that point.
So far carrying you has been completely average and completely normal. Most couples trying to concieve manage to succeed in about 3 months, which is exactly was happened for us. When we went to our last check-up in early January, the midwife said my uterus was exactly the size all the charts say it should be. She even sounded a little surprised by that. I have gained exactly 13 pounds, which is right in the range all the books say you should gain by week 19, and my symptoms have pretty much followed the normal, average symptoms of pregnancy. Little baby, this makes me very happy. I wouldn't say that carrying you has been easy, but it has certainly all been very normal, very average, and very much exactly as things are expected to progress.
Part of me can't believe we've made it this far. I have been terrified from the beginning that I would lose you, but somehow you made it through the first trimester, where miscarriage is most common, and now we are halfway into the second. It doesn't mean something couldn't still happen to you...but the odds are definitely in our favor.
Carrying you has definitely made me slow down much more than I imagined I would. I spend much more time just sitting or reading quietly these days than I ever used to.
I only have 3 more months of teaching high school! Then, I will be able to stay home all the time to take care of you. Of course, I still have a play to direct and a yearbook to complete in the meantime, but we will make it through that with God's help. I know that you can hear my voice now and some loud noises, so you must wonder what is going on when your mommy keeps yelling at people every afternoon during play rehearsal.
Well, here's to you, little harbinger of hope. The next 19 weeks are going to be quite an adventure.
I love you,
Your Mommy.
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