We're halfway there, Baby! Letter #3 to the baby: Week 19

Dear Little One,

I felt you move this week! You are definitely in there, definitely alive and well and moving around! At first, I could only feel you when I was lying or sitting very still, but last night at the grocery store in the juice aisle, your little kick took me completely by surprise. It's hard to know what's you sometimes and what's my stomach digesting or the uterus beating, but I am getting better and better at distinguishing the difference. Your father is jealous that I get to feel you already and he will have to wait a few more weeks. Sometimes I catch him watching us when we are all home together, just sort of staring and marvelling at you growing inside me. Sometimes it makes me self-conscious, but he tells me he is just fascinated by you and me. I am so grateful that you will have a father who will be involved in your life and who will adore you as much as I do.

We have arrived at the beginning of Week 19. The average gestational time for human babies is 38 weeks, so that means we might be halfway there. Of course, it's only an average, and I might find myself still carrying your growing self into weeks 39, 40, 41, or even 42. The midwife says it almost never goes past that point.

So far carrying you has been completely average and completely normal. Most couples trying to concieve manage to succeed in about 3 months, which is exactly was happened for us. When we went to our last check-up in early January, the midwife said my uterus was exactly the size all the charts say it should be. She even sounded a little surprised by that. I have gained exactly 13 pounds, which is right in the range all the books say you should gain by week 19, and my symptoms have pretty much followed the normal, average symptoms of pregnancy. Little baby, this makes me very happy. I wouldn't say that carrying you has been easy, but it has certainly all been very normal, very average, and very much exactly as things are expected to progress.

Part of me can't believe we've made it this far. I have been terrified from the beginning that I would lose you, but somehow you made it through the first trimester, where miscarriage is most common, and now we are halfway into the second. It doesn't mean something couldn't still happen to you...but the odds are definitely in our favor.

Carrying you has definitely made me slow down much more than I imagined I would. I spend much more time just sitting or reading quietly these days than I ever used to.

I only have 3 more months of teaching high school! Then, I will be able to stay home all the time to take care of you. Of course, I still have a play to direct and a yearbook to complete in the meantime, but we will make it through that with God's help. I know that you can hear my voice now and some loud noises, so you must wonder what is going on when your mommy keeps yelling at people every afternoon during play rehearsal.

Well, here's to you, little harbinger of hope. The next 19 weeks are going to be quite an adventure.

I love you,

Your Mommy.