You're going to have your baby where?

I thought that the women's group I visit with monthly would be fairly supportive of my plan to have a home birth, after all, many of them are former hippies, earth women, artists, environmentalists and supporters of other "alternative" lifestyles.
"We are going to have the baby at home, " I said, after announcing my pregnancy to the group.
The conversation came to a grinding halt. The women stared at me.
"Well, I think you're very brave," one young woman said tentatively. The others continued to stare.
"I think it's a horrible idea," I heard one older lady mutter to the woman next to her.
"I used to be a supporter of home birth," one lady said, "Until I saw my grandbaby die 6 hours after he was born at home."
"Mom," piped in the young woman, "My baby was born without kidneys. The hospital couldn't have done anything either."
"It's actually quite safe," I tried to explain, "Statistically speaking, it's safer to have a home birth with a competent widwife than to go to the hospital."
"That may be true, but a lot of things can happen during birth," a final woman said.
Another woman changed the subject to something less controversial, and I was left to quietly marvel at the shock and dismay of these otherwise extremely liberated women who didn't seem to think it was possible to have a birth independent of a hospital. It didn't really bother me much, though, because a few years ago, I might have reacted exactly the same way.
I am not a hippy, a liberal, or part of an "alternative" lifestyle. I am an extremely conservative Southern Baptist. I believe in serving God, respecting my husband, working hard, and being as independent as possible. Nor do I come from a family that has any experience with home birth, or birth in general.
As the youngest child in my family, I never experienced watching my mother being pregnant. We never seemed to have older aunts or cousins who were pregnant during my developmental years either. In fact, the only real experiences I have had around pregnant women have been my sister-in-laws, Anita and Meghan. Anita is my husband's sister and Meghan is my brother's wife.
Anita had a nightmarish pregnancy and delivery with her first daughter, Jennifer. She threw up 10-15 times a day for her entire pregnancy. She could not keep any food down and lost a huge amount of weight. Near the very beginning of her third trimester, they discovered that Jennifer did not have nearly enough amniotic fluid, that the cord was wrapped tightly around her and that her vitals were dropping drastically. Anita was immediately taken in for an emergency C-Section. Jennifer weighed about a pound and was weak and tiny and had to stay in the NICU for weeks. Jennifer will have severe emotional and physical problems for the rest of her life.
With Anita's next baby, Rebeckah, she had a much easier pregnancy. All went well and Anita had a scheduled C-Section with Rebeckah. Either she didn't know about safe VBAC (Vaginal Birth after C-Section), or she wasn't interested. The abdominal pain from Anita's surgeries has been difficult for her. It's made breast-feeding harder and getting around the house afterwards very painful. Anita still has effects from the C-Sections and it's been 3 years since Rebeckah was born.
For my sister-in-law Meghan, pregnancy seemed easy. She was never sick, she felt great, looked beautiful, enjoyed herself heartily and with the exception of some heartburn and swollen feet, breezed through pregancy. She was determined to have a natural childbirth at the hospital. Meghan and my brother Grant read books, took classes on the Bradley Method, made a birth plan that they explained to every doctor who might see them during labor and tried their hardest to prepare themselves mentally and emotionally for birth. Unfortunately, their baby had other plans and Meghan's labor never really got started. It wouldn't fall into a rythym and since they believed her water had already broken, they became very concerned after a day or so. They went to the hospital where they discovered that Abby's heartrate was dropping and Meghan had to have an emergency c-section. Later, the doctors discovered that Abby's umbilical cord was way too short and that was why labor was not progressing and would not have progressed. Thankfully, everyone was fine and because Meghan had been so proactive with her doctors, she could feel secure that they were telling her the truth and that she had done everything she could have to labor naturally.
So now I'm pregnant. My pregnancy so far has been manageable. I wouldn't say it's been easy, but it hasn't been hard. I look forward to having energy again...someday...and it will be nice to be able to sleep on my stomach again...someday.
Naturally, with these scary birth experiences in my heart, I am a little leary about birth, specifically, about having a C-Section or any other procedure that involves cutting my skin. I really, really don't want my stomach cut open, I don't want a needle in my back, and I don't want an episiotomy. The amazing thing that I have learned, however, is that most of these procedures are usually PREVENTABLE. Most C-Sections are preventable, labor pain is manageable without drugs, and episiotomies are downright unnecessary in most women.
It seems like everywhere you turn, somebody is telling you about their emergency C-section. In the USA, the current percentage of hospital C-Sections is over 30%, so that means that 1 in 3 women who go to the hospital will have a C-Section. I watched a powerful documentary called, "The Business of Being Born," and I began looking into the infant and maternal mortality rates for home births and hospital births. I have since read many books by Midwife Ina May Gaskin and Doctor Sears, and we found a wonderful midwife in Bakersfield, LaMonica Bryant, who is extremely experienced, practical, trustworthy, and clearly loves her job.
Like most women in my society, the phrase, "Home Birth," seemed pretty scary to me at first. But then I found out that the chances of a mother or baby dying are actually higher in a hospital than they are at a home birth with a well-trained midwife. The documentary and all my reading showed me video footage and pictures of something that I had never seen before: laboring women who looked happy, peaceful, even. These women were not screaming or cussing or being wheeled frantically into the hospital. They were moving around slowly, trance-like, managing their pain, working hard, but contentedly so, and their babies were coming out from...where babies are supposed to come out. Amazingly, according to the World Health Organization, 95% of births would progress safely and naturally without any interventions. And if I'm part of the 5% that need interventions, that's when we drive to the hospital.
I am not so naive as to think that we can completely avoid a C-Section. Stuff happens. Nobody knows this better than I do, after having watched my sisters go through what they have. If LaMonica thinks the baby is in danger for any reason, we'll go to the hospital. If we need to have an epidural to prevent a C-Section, that's what we'll do. If we need a C-Section to save the baby's life, that's what we'll do. But at least I will know that I did all that I could do to have my baby safely and naturally.